That is how often I think about her. From the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close them. What can I do? Surely there is something I can say to get through to her. I just haven't found it yet. Everyone tells me there isn't. I am having a hard time grasping that.
I haven't heard from her since Tuesday. I have lost some weight due to stress. I don't eat when I am stressed. I made a joke about it to my husband this morning and he had the balls to ask me what stress?? Um, hello?? Have you been in a cave?? He tells me that stress will be with me the rest of my life if I let it bother me. I have to be honest when I say this comment really pissed me off. My daughter is addicted to meth. How in the world can that not bother me???? He is a different animal than I am. He is not codependent. He can accept that it is her problem and her journey and only she can change anything. I am on a completely different end of the spectrum. Sometimes he says things that are just completely insensitive. I know he is fed up. He has had enough. She really has put us through hell. But she is a part of me. She is my first born. My baby. No matter what. He is still angry. I get that. I am too. But he didn't birth her. It's different for me.